via Prison Talk by MissingBliss215 on 3/8/10
Hello everyone. My name is Rena and I'm 26 years old. I live in North Carolina. My fiance was sentenced to 7 years on Feb.15, 2010 and since then I have been completely lost. I thank God that Jerry and I was able to spend Valentine's Day together before he left. This is my first time ever having to deal with such situations so I am VERY new to all of this; him being gone and doing all this on my own. My family isnt very supportive of me standing beside Jerry; they say 7 years is such a long time. Which I will agree with them on that, but he is everything to me. We have been through so much in life together for the past 3 years that not having him in my life makes no sense to me. I just need others to talk to that know what I am going through; without the judgement and critisism. So I can use all the support I can get online since my family thinks I'm completely nuts! Which I could careless what they think. I cant sleep, I have no appetite and I dont want to really be around anyone. I feel as if when he was locked up; so was I. I know that all of this is so unhealthy for me and I have to find a way to get out of this complete depression. Im sure many of you went through the same thing I am going through right now. My wounds are still very fresh and every morning I wake up reaching for him and he isnt there. I break down at any given moment. But I have to be strong for him. Jerry is the love of my life, he has been there for me through many situations in life. He has done me wrong and I have done him wrong, but we have always made it through the hard times. But this... this is one of the hardest things we have ever had to endure. What makes my situation even worse is I lost my job on Feb. 12, 2010. Now not only do I have to worry about my fiance being locked up for something that he didnt do, to worrying about:
~How am I going to make it by myself with no job?
~How am I going to be able to support him by sending him money?
~How am I going to hear his voice on the days he can call? Its like everything has hit me in the face at one time... Losing my job and 3 days later losing the love of my life to the prison system. Somehow I have been able to send him some money and put money on the phone so we can talk to one another. But I'm looking into the future and worrying about what is going to happen then. Its always running through my head how I am going to take care of him when right now I cant even take care of myself. But I have strong faith in God. I pray that he will show me a way to make it through this hard time in mine and Jerry's lives. I'm looking forward to meeting other people on here that can not only help me out by conversation, but I as well give them some encouragement. :o
~How am I going to make it by myself with no job?
~How am I going to be able to support him by sending him money?
~How am I going to hear his voice on the days he can call? Its like everything has hit me in the face at one time... Losing my job and 3 days later losing the love of my life to the prison system. Somehow I have been able to send him some money and put money on the phone so we can talk to one another. But I'm looking into the future and worrying about what is going to happen then. Its always running through my head how I am going to take care of him when right now I cant even take care of myself. But I have strong faith in God. I pray that he will show me a way to make it through this hard time in mine and Jerry's lives. I'm looking forward to meeting other people on here that can not only help me out by conversation, but I as well give them some encouragement. :o
Posted via email from the Un-Official Southwestern PA Re-Entry Coalition Blog
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