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24 September 2010

1 Year Anniversary of Being out. A Warning.

via Prison Talk by bhoney29 on 9/24/10

I am not the best writer, but I want to share my experience as my boyfriend has been out of prison for one year this week.

My boyfriend spent two years in prison. It's hard for me to talk about his crime because to most people it sparks instant judgement.

Here goes. My boyfriend grew up in Michigan and got his Bachelor's degree in Chemistry. He went to Med School to become a doctor, and moved to Wisconsin to do so. During his first year there, he met a girl at a frat party and had a one night stand. The legal age is 18 in Wisconsin and she was not yet 18. Long story short, he got busted.

I knew him long before this ever happened. We dated when we were both 17 and even a little during the first part of college. We broke up and got back together while he was in prison. It was tough! All the letter writing and phone calls, you know how that is never the same as actually being with someone. But somehow we made it...

He was released in September of 2009. Joy! It was a dream. The first week we were on such a high, I can't remember being happier. Ever since then we have been getting along wonderfully and are very much in love.

Some things I noticed about him. He did not mind spending long periods of time "doing nothing". I would get bored and say "let's DO SOMETHING I'm sooo bored!!" while he would be very, very content to just sit around and watch tv. I feel that is a side effect of spending the two years in prison.

Other than that he seemed perfectly normal. No strange habits or emotional problems. He enrolled in school full time and getting his MBA since he can no longer be a doctor. He sees a counselor once a week. He has had no problems abiding by his parole conditions.

To say it very simply, we are doing very well. However, recently there has been a HUGE, very signicant problem. His PO moved and he got a new PO. I'll get to her in a minute.

Almost to the day exactly, one year after his release, a sweep came by the neighborhood to search our house. Twice a year (in Michigan) they can do a full search, police officers and special "techie" people. My boyfriend was at school, but I was home and had to admit that I own a laptop. They searched it, determined that he had not been using it, and left. But she left a note for him to come see her that Friday (3 days later).

This is what I want to say to everyone who is about to have their loved one come home. GET A COPY OF HIS PAROLE RULES AND READ THEM. FOLLOW EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM TO A T, do NOT disobey ANYTHING no. matter. WHAT. For NO REASON, BELIEVE ME. That is my warning.

My boyfriend has never signed a rule saying that there cannot be computers in the house. His PO (who I said I would get to, she is power crazy... I could tell you many stories of what she has said and done to him in the short time he has had her, but that is another story) claims she verbally told him not to have them. I was not aware that me owning a laptop was a violation of his parole conditions. I'm not sure he was even aware, because his old PO knew about my laptop and took no issue with it, as long as it had a password on it and we had a locked area to keep it.

She claims he has violated his parole and has put him in jail. He went to jail today (Friday) and I am to pick him up on Monday morning.

Because his violation occured in Wisconsin, in order for his parole to be revoked they would have to come get him, on their dime. I'm not sure whose decision it would be (judge, parole board, PO????).

His PO is going to send the information (that I had a laptop) to Wisconsin and it will be up to them to decide whether or not to procede with revocation. I think they have a certain time to respond by, but I'm not sure. I'm also unsure why she doesn't keep him locked up until they respond, but I am not about to ask questions. Maybe she knows she doesn't have a case and the overcrowded Wisconsin system would think it a waste of their time to revoke him for such a small incident.


We have done so much together to fix his life, to try to build ours together. He is doing very well in school, he does not use drugs or alcohol. Since his is on the GPS our nights consist of snuggling, moving watchind and board games. Our lives could not be any more wholesome, I would consider him a model parolee (I am biased!). I spent two years fixing my credit so we could buy a house, we worked hard and I ended up buying my first house this year! We moved in over the summer, and we finally felt like we were "building our home" and moving on to a better life.

Please don't take parole for granted. I didn't know his PO had told him "no computers". Know from the begining what he can and can't do. And play by the rules. Do everything you can because keeping your man by your side, physically next to you, is the ultimate goal. I can't tell you how sick I am wondering if I'm going to have the most important part of my life taken away.


One last thing. Nobody is aware of how felons are treated. They don't care. My boyfriend is trying so hard, and he is so well educated and respectful of me and loving towards me. He is really trying to do something with his life. If he is revocated it will ultimatley result in him being even more behind in life, make it even harder for him to finish his education, to get a job and to enter society again as a productive human being.

The country wastes tax payer dollars, thousands per year, keeping him on a GPS unit, money that in our time of economic crisis could be used to put another police officer on the streets to do REAL good. Sending my boyfriend back to prison seems very wrong to me, but nobody will use common sense and realize just how wrong it is.

I feel unheard. I wish there was a way to make the public more aware of situations like this.

Final word. KNOW THE RULES! DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED! KEEP HIM IN LINE! Kiss him as much as you can. You never know when "they" will be back to take him away.

Posted via email from the Un-Official Southwestern PA Re-Entry Coalition Blog

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